“Desperation makes you blind”
Saturday:Our first Date 🙂
It was going to be a big day for me not because Shikar had asked me for a date, but after very long someone so eligible had complimented me and had asked me for a date without much thoughts. It made me feel good about my own self, made me feel beautiful and like a very eligible single. I must say most of the girls can be made to overlook your faults if you compliment her. But now it was building a pressure on me, like I had to look good and keep up to my reputation :).
You would not believe that i was falling for him so much that in spite of huge outstanding credit card bills and being broke i still went and shopped for an extravagant halter top in order to look my best. I did not know what he would like, but there was this urgency inside me to go out with him. I was indeed rushing, i knew it but still felt he was worth all of this hard work. After a lot of anticipations, i was all set and i guess i looked good. We had decided the place and i was supposed to reach there by 7 PM, taking his habit of being late i planned to be there by 7:15 or so.
On my way in the auto, i kept cursing myself for not being on time because i felt reaching late might upset him, and i did not want to ruin the evening at any cost. I kept telling the auto waala bhaiya to hurry up and finally reached the place. I went inside and hurriedly started looking for him but to my surprise he was nowhere, i messaged him(first mistake) and asked him where he was?
NO reply. I again messaged apologising for being late(second mistake). Again NO reply. It was 8 by now and still no reply and i was still waiting. Now i had to call him, then i felt that may be i am being too desperate and he should call me(third mistake). My ego and me fought for sometime, after which my watch showed 8:35 PM.. Now i was really feeling irritated and stupid. I called him, no answer, kept calling, still no answer. Now I was really worried and all bad thoughts flooded into my mind. I did not know any other way of getting in touch with him. I was feeling very tensed. It was already 9:30 PM now. IT WAS TOO LATE.
He was absolutely no body to me. I was not even friends with him but still felt very anxious for him. I left that place and reached home. I somehow felt pangs of separation for no reason and two hot tears came out of my eyes. I was helpless, I called him again and this time he picked it up. There was a lot of noise in the background, something like loud music. He casually asked me “Hey wassup”, I was shocked for a while and asked him where he was. He was at “The club” partying, one of his friend was throwing his Bachelor party…. I was spellbound for a while, I felt happy and relived when he picked up the phone but now i felt he was a monster.
“Shikar we were supposed to meet today, you remember” ? He remembered and also sensed the anger in my voice, and said “Hey Neena, I am sorry, it slipped out my mind, next weekend pakka..” and this time i had lost it” Shikar just go to hell, i waited in that go damn restaurant for 3 hours, shed tears(exaggeration but he deserved to be thrashed so it was okay) and you behave like nothing happened, just get lost and never call me again”.. I kept the call and switched off my phone and started crying in some strange feeling of defeat. What a waste of time…
I switched it on after an hour before going to bed and was sure there would be lakhs of messages and missed calls… But yes it was Mr Shikar, the self obsessed Microsoft developer, not even a single message of apology, i cursed myself for telling him not to call me, but does n’t he know how girls are. My love story had ended, even before it had started.
Wish I could revisit my Saturday again. I slept with these thoughts and felt miserable.