This is exactly the conversation I had with my dearest friend last Monday: Actually it’s a part, be happy at least I am generous enough to share it 😛
Him:(could not make his name funny ;).)-What the hell yaar, you cannot understand this little thing? I am busy, I can’t join you for the Movie.
Me: “This little thing”, Are you kidding me ?The last week when I had planned a meet with all old friends you were busy with other friends, the week before you could not come for the puja at home as you had relatives at home. This time what’s your excuse?
Him: THEY ARE NOT F###### EXCUSES. It’s the truth and it is genuine. I seriously have problems. Now I have to hang up and please don’t call back. ‘tak and the line goes dead with an engage tone’.
But he really knows me well, since I called back, I hate to keep conversations half, though I never let the other person finish it.
<<Tring>> <<Tring>>, four calls go waste and one tear droplet pops up and his friends follow from all directions from both eyes. He picks up, he is fuming with anger, comparing him with an Angry bird would be an understatement.
Him: What is it yaar? I told you don’t call back.
Me: I am crying dude.(attempt to sympathy 😉 ;)), you don’t want to talk, what if people are around you. You have to explain to me,Why only in my case you get busy? When it’s your friends you are not, when family you are not and you tell me I am your best friend. From now on don tell that.
Him:Ok.(dying to close the conversation but not so soon boy)(sadist me)
Me: Okay? oh!! now you have new friends right? right. why do you need to talk to me, You don’t care, I was blind to not have seen it.. I use a lot more of this metaphorical expressions to get across my point. but in vain. I told you he knows me just too well.
Him: Listen I’m switching my phone. DON CALL ME BACK you B……… No he does not say it. 🙂 I survive.
Now I am crying, so automatically my brain has stopped working, all I want is to fight with him, make him feel bad, tell him a lot of unrelated stuff, make him feel guilty and at the end feel peaceful at heart. oh my god, I have so much of sadism inside me. See writing helps. Now his phone is switched off, I can’t show people I’m crying, I carry the “Strong Girl” avatar with me, but I also can’t stop the turmoil inside me, making me feel “oh you unimportant creature, see he actually does not have time only for you, and you foolishly gave me so much of undue importance.” And I fall for this inner voice of mine(which guy said all inner voices are good) and feel defeated. But now how do I spit the venom inside me out on him? And then my Gmail becomes my tool to glory.
I put his email address in to list and start typing my heart out in the email. Sorry could not enclose my email, I guess I already ruined my personality enough, don’t wish to do it any further J. I abuse him very generously, I write stuff I can’t even dream of telling the worst of my enemies, I then neatly put down all the instances where I helped him and where he turned me away,(girls I tell you… ;they remember everything)).. maybe if I could write such neat answers in exams I would have topped in my university. The point is, even before I reach to signing my name off I feel lighter than ever, my tears have stopped long back lest I could not have seen clearly. I also start thinking clearly and of all the times when if he was not there to help, I would have been in deep down trouble. I don’t send this email to him because by now I’m cool and don feel mad at him anymore. I trash it. I do mention to him about the email and we both share a laugh on that.
You guys should try it and tell me if it works, mostly it should work. It is a cheap stress buster and typing it as a mail serves even better because then it gives you a real feel of you telling it your friend/ enemy. It works more than once 🙂
I have learnt from experiences in my life that bad and unhealthy arguments have only given ME pain, and tears. I have also lost many a friends, made a lot of enemies. But god has been grateful enough to bless me with friends who forgive me for my lose tongue, giving a long thought to useless stuff and also make me understand that they love me for who I am and I don’t really have to change.
But yet, I feel a surge inside me, and this time it is the sane inner voice, that I should try and control my anger, not talk only my part of the frustration and also let my people do that. After all it’s my turn to give back in the good way.
We all get frustrated, angry and hold bad things for people at one point of our life, I felt it at many a times, so I know how good it feels when you can vent it out on someone and the other person instead of shouting back, takes it calmly and understands your pain behind it. So here is tinny winy advice to all of you, if you think someone is telling more than required and you genuinely care for that person take the heat, its fine at least the other person will feel better. You will feel like a friend indeed. A few of my angel like friends not only take my anger and also make me smile.
So if you are angry take a pen/ or just start typing randomly but don’t fight. You will always know if your anger is genuine or not. And if your dear friend is mad at you, tell them bring it on. Anger is yet another way of expressing love.(applies to good friends, I would never recommend my dear readers to take shit from random strangers 🙂 :))
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