The day I STOPPED blackmailing God

Long long ago,  i read a few verses by Sant Kabir Das, whose lines i don recollect well, but it meant, that God has created us and hence is just like our parent.  And how many of us have begged stuff from our parents? Almost none. Our parents no matter what try to fulfill our sensible wishes 😉.  So if god is also like our mum and dad then, he should give us whatever we like. But yet again, just like at home, it takes time for him to fulfill our wishes.

Prayer

Like daddy, he decides if it will be a good choice for us or not, and since our demands get  real huge when it comes to God, the waiting period is a little higher. We don’t merely ask for a car or a laptop, but for a person(gf/bf i mean ;), a seat in the best college and so on.

“Manga jo mera hai, jaata kya tera hai,

maine kaunsi tujhse jannat maang li,

kaisa khuda hai tu, bas naam ka hai tu,

rabba jo teri itni bhi na chali.

are a few lines from the song, “aaj din chadeya ” from Love Aaj kal which mean, “Oh god i ask of you what is mine, what do you lose. What kind of god are you, you are just an illusion if you cant grant me even this. Seems like a little kid, is demanding for his right from god and fighting with him.

So anyways, i always believed that I’m God’s favorite kid and , that he loves me very much and he treats my requests on priority, and i get what i want. But i had to keep him happy too, i never over demanded, i also cooperated with him and wore only my lucky clothes on my exams, so that it got easy for him to spark magic.  I went to the temple, did my discussions with him face to face, and also settled for a nice bargain. I promised to break 2 coconuts, take 11 or 108 rounds, depending on the size of the demand.  And they worked.

But eventually my demands got bigger, i wanted control over the feelings of other individuals, i wanted my crushes to feel what i felt for them, i wanted to get admission into the best MBA college, i wanted to be the lucky prize winner in all competitions, i wanted to top in all my exams, and as usual, i was following the rules i had set up in this virtual contract. But wearing my lucky clothes, coconut promises was not helping. God was backing out in every single deal. All my crushes walked up to me and told which other girl they liked, Everyone was falling in love with everyone else, all of them were going to the best of the colleges, wearing the best of the clothes, and i seemed lost like a pauper. I was PISSED WITH HIM. But who can sue god.  I decided if He has so much attitude, i am not going to beg him for anything. And i stopped asking him for anything, I stopped the emotional blackmail, (Somewhere i thought he would miss me too, and grant my wishes to make me happy), but nothing happened. The stone was unmoved. I decided that il talk to him eye in eye and that i don’t need anything from him.

prayer_a-real-conversation-with-god

But he was Bigger, he knew me better than i knew myself, i could see things falling in place,my friends who landed up in good colleges, were happy but so was I. I was growing wherever i was, my life was happier. My crushes ended up getting dumped or dumping my friends. I was glad i was not hooked with anyone.

But distancing from god, actually transformed my mindset. I realised, that every unrealistic wish of our does not have to come true, and if all wishes came true, the purpose of life is lost. I already stopped asking him for anything, No barter system was being followed. I now knew that i din need him to fulfill my dreams, but i needed him to give me support. I was still looking at his eyes, but this time it was not anger or rage but with perseverance, patience, and a hope that i am capable enough to achieve my dreams.

I never really thanked him for anything, so i had no right for me to accuse him as well. I still go to the temple not to scold him for hurting me but to seek a little bit of peace, sounds philosophical, but it helps. It gives me courage to fight, it gives me courage to look into people’s eyes, and treat them the way they want to be treated rather than how i feel about them.

It is true that the world conspires for you to get the best gifts in your life, but one should never lose the motivation and genuineness  inside to achieve their goals.

Inspire yourself  for the world to Conspire is what i believe 🙂

 

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