Human beings possess a serious problem. They crave for attention, no matter how much some of us would deny, deep down we all are a bit of wannabes. Each one of us are desperately trying to impress someone; it could be your dad, your boss, your crush, your girlfriend or your teacher. We all want to emerge as heroes in front of them.
Since I can write best for people of my age, we youngsters are always trying to be our best in front of our crushes or people with whom we see a opportunity 😉 of a relationship of love. So it’s not very easy to become that hero, whoever has tried will know. We really go beyond us at times. Just for an example, you might be lethargically sitting on your sofa, when your dad tells you to drop a cheque in the drop box at a nearby bank, and your immediate response on that will be. “daddy its weekend, my only holiday, please don’t make me work today at least”, instead if the girl you are dreaming off, or the guy who has swept you away, gives you a call and tells you if you would be free to accompany him/her to a bank which is miles away from your place, what would your response be? no prizes for guessing, it would be a YES. A couple of people I know will pounce on me and say, I am being a hypocrite and it’s not like that. They would not give up on their sleep for a outing which may or may not be a date. But I speak for most of them; some exceptions are always there :). So now you see how much we have given up just to make someone happy. 😉 😉
Then you also start caring, you will be concerned, but like a human being craves for attention, they also possess a serious problem. They CANNOT HANDLE ATTENTION. A lot of times the male kind is blamed to do it more, but I strongly feel that not being able to handle attention is not a gender based problem. We feel we need someone who cares for us, but mostly we end up feeling suffocated and caged when we are being cared and pampered for too much, and quite a few times it’s because we don’t get the attention from the right person.
So the cycle is: you give attention-> the other person feels you are getting too pushy and why do they need to care for when you already care so much -> you feel bad, not cared for like a doormat -> and then our second hero Mr. EGO steps in -> We feel horrible that we are being taken for granted and there are enough people who care for us, we don’t need anyone else to do that.
And then the actual fight starts, between Love and Ego, because love will always tell you that if you have an ego issue with the person you like then you are mistaken about the liking, because its solely your problem, you gave them value, then you should have continued to do so without building your string of expectations, but then Ego also presents its own valid set of arguments you can’t afford to fore go, he would say, you care and other person never caring will land you up in a ditch which you have dug for yourself. So why not give them a chance to give you value and you behave like you do not care. But the other person who is totally unaware of your masterminded plans here, will treat you the same way, unless they realize they are not getting the same amount of importance as they always used to from you. And then may be, could be, they start making an effort and miss your presence in their life and start caring for you, but then again you will suffer from not able to handle attention syndrome and eventually they will from ego hurt. So it’s all a vicious circle which will continue forever.
Poor love is sometimes bashed up down the road by ego and his friends like attitude, rationale, logic and practicality. But sometimes love needs that bashing, because some of us, just are so plain and blindly stupid, that we fail to see how much of our self respect is being hurt caring for someone who is totally indifferent about it. But also they say, only light can drive out darkness and love can drive out hate, if someone is being sweet in his/her own ways may be not exactly like you wanted then, one should just stop measuring them against their standards of expectations they have fulfilled. The war between your heart(love) and mind(ego) can be simply waved off if only you could measure up to each other. The whole point is, if after a while of caring for someone you can clearly make out that the other person is worth it or not. If not its better to stay away, because self hurt is no justice to any form of love 🙂
Even when I was writing this post, I realized how stupid we get in life; yet again I come around and realize that for me my ego can never overpower my love.
PS: All the examples listed in this post are completely fictional 🙂 and any resemblance to my life or any other character is purely intended and not coincidental 😛 The whole incident above does not necessary apply to love between a couple but also between friends, family and colleagues. I think it even applies between you and your pet, if no matter how hard you try your dog is not willing to give you a handshake, its best to pat him on his back and move on 🙂
Images Courtesy: Google and my sharp sense of search 😉