I know its love love everywhere, with Valentines day just gone, but this blog post is about the tougher realities underlying those rosy beds of love. Yes you smart people know, its about the “Break up”. But relax its not about my break up, not my friend’s break up but its the healthy after life when you are no longer broken up in terms of mind, body and soul.
When i say life after Break Up, i mean when you really are out of it. You might have broken up yesterday, but technically you have not broken up. The whole of it happens in phases, I have gathered a lot of experiences, a few personal, a few from my friends who have gone through this beautiful phase of Love in their lives.
Phase#1: 2 days after break up
Life is normal, you are all happy, basically you don’t even pay heed to what just happened. you think “oh its just another fight and things will be normal again”.
Phase#2: some time after the break up
She has snapped contacts. He is not answering your call. You are badly regretting, your ego in the initial days din let you call and now he is not picking up your call. You have entered the sob sob phase of your life. you are crying. you are still staring at your phone, waiting for a message or a call, you are still weeping, but your immense positivity towards life does not let you lose. you are still trying. After all, “she is my girl, she cant live without me”. (sometimes i wonder what happens to this “never say die attitude” when we write exams.)
Now you have eventually started to believe, that you have broken up, and indeed you are shattered. You have downloaded the top 50 break up songs. You suddenly understand all hindi slow songs and have started browsing through the lyrics of LP.(i remember listening to Numb and Breakeven by Script on repeat 😛 ). Your friends who have not really spoken to you in months, are suddenly concerned and ask you dumb questions like ” oh man how did this happen?” , “you guys looked so cute togther 😦 ” as though you did not know. You have browsed all sites, of how to get over your girl, how to be friends with your X, etc. Nothing really worked.
Phase #4: A lot more while has passed after that sometime.
Now friends have started suggesting you to be strong, and are consoling you by telling that how mean and bad the other person was with you. The same friends end up hanging out with him and also put pictures tagging them on fb. LOL. But these sweet friends also tell you that “you deserve much better”. This line is really over hyped. As in how does anyone on earth know what you deserve.
Oh btw, you and your X are no longer friends on FB, but you still stalk them at times. By now, you have deleted and re saved their numbers about a million times. You are now accepting that you are no longer together and its getting over. You have started back biting about your X, who was your so called closest to heart person , to your close, sometimes not so close and sometimes even random friends. Now you are no longer sobbing, but you are angry, you are in a mood to avenge the injustice that has happened to you. You have started putting up statuses full of attitude and trying your best to show them how happy you are without them. You are now desperately trying for another relationship. You are hanging out so much with guys whom you never would have even noticed earlier.
But guess what, your desperate attempts have failed miserably. After all in all those attempts there was hardly any liking, it was only a means to seek revenge, to show the world that you are happy.
There is a short, temporary phase slipping in between, where you are trying to be friends with your X. After all you do miss that amazing company of theirs. But i just want to slap that mindless person who said, X’s can be friends. There are exceptions of course, where both the parties are now seeing other people. But “lets be friends” does not work, and please do not resort to this option in case you really want to get over your X.
Phase #5: It is finally over .(This stage may take a while and lots of understanding, lots of work at office and a bunch of mad yet honest friends.)
After a lot of calls, messages, tears, fights, abuses, attitude, ego, loss of self esteem, trying to be friends attempt, it finally has reached the threshold and your body and mind are finally in sync. You now know, he/she is not important in your life anymore, you have completely accepted what happened. You suddenly realize, your phone bills are coming lower than minimum, you no longer get upset listening to Tum hi ho :P. You now have a lot of time, you are always smiling, do not have a tension lingering on your mind. Their gifts, those places no longer tell you anything, you are gaining back your self esteem, you are discovering amazing friends for life, you no longer hold any grudges, you are not desperate for love anymore. You have to now try to recollect their face. You are now happier.
I am not telling that we can just wipe of all the memories, but down the line, only the good ones stay, and things which are not meant to happen , do not happen. You still hope that that person is happy somewhere. Life will go on, and going down is yet another chance to embark a new journey to the hilltop. So keep falling in love*
*conditions apply: dont blame me, if you break up again. You can always re read my post thought 🙂
Courtesy: Google for these awesome images.