When i decided to leave Facebook

Happiness is a state of mind. And life these days is incomplete without sharing that state with your friends,friends of friends and everyone who has connectivity to internet. Yes i am talking about sharing happy moments on Facebook.

So when everything was so happy on Facebook, why did i leave it? I left it because Facebook told me that everyone in the world was happy except me. Every time i would open my FB page,  there would be at least 3 friends who have got married, 4 friends who have got engaged, 2 friends having a baby, 5 friends moving to the US, and another 50 friends having checkins at places you were always waiting to go, and you , the small pathetic you, is scrolling through their smiles on your FB wall, while munching some unhealthy stuff.

I sulked and sulked to think why my life was so sad, i was not even able to count my blessings, and all that i could think off was the countless issues i had with life, be it professional or personal. This is called the Facebook Depression(this is in my medical terminology 😛 ).  But nevertheless, i still clung on to this self torture, but soon i got the blow. The strong person inside me, decided to show the world, that i also can smile and i went ahead and posted a status brimming with philosophy only to check every five minutes to see how many likes i got, but when the likes were crawling, i decided to post a picture and the response was not very different. The likes were less not because the picture was not great but may be because the picture exposed my desperate attempt to get my life back.

And my relationship with facebook was so self inflicting and excruciating that i needed to stop this and move on. And the break up was for good. Its been close to 1.5 years that we have not looked back at each other, because he always found company of people who feeded on the the likes their pictures got and those “awww” comments their statuses got and i finally found Peace.

I finally see happiness in my life, get more time to talk to my parents, spend no time taking a 100 selfies for a perfect DP, and do things which make me happy. I no longer feel the need to tell those 500 odd friends what issues i am dealing with and which place i am having my dinner tonight. Those friends who really want to tell me what’s changing in their life, will call me to tell me, they will not send me a group invite for their wedding, and neither will I.

I opened Facebook today, because i wanted to see if Facebook has included a reason like “Why only my life sucks while everyone else’s is flourishing” 😛 when you try to deactivate your account :), it hasn’t. And my wall is still filled with the same old stories.  🙂

This post is not against FB but against every that thing that makes you unhappy but we still find are tempted to go through pain. And if i could break-free, anyone can.

So if you are always in a troubled relationship with Facebook, its time you breakup and start an amazing new year. 🙂

 

 

Which color is it?

If you are a guy by now at least once you and your friend from the opposite gender have fought over the topic of color. Remember how many rounds of examining happened over the white or blue dress. I too have a small test, tell me what color is the dress below:

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While you see the color of the dress as green, your girl friend will see it as Olive green, and you thought olives are used only with reference of food 🙂 . There is a complete list of these referential colors such as  laguna blue,  Sea green, hot magenta…This is not a gender bias agenda, you might be a guy and may have a perfect sense of colors, but its just that i fail to see what is the big fuss about knowing the right color.

And when there is a discussion of which color it is, i usually prefer to keep quiet, since my girl friends around talk in the crayon color language, which is just not my cup of tea. And being a girl if you also identify colors as just Green/Blue/Yellow then it might be interpreted in a hundred different ways.

I have always identified colors as simple as black and white unless very recently when i realized that you are almost insulting the person’s clothes if you do not know the right color of it. I still would fumble to know if its violet or purple. Yeah i am that bad.

But its an interesting sense to have nevertheless its not a mandatory sense to have either.  After all we still manage with 50 Shades of Grey . 🙂 So if you know then good for you, and if you do not know the exact color, then ask them 🙂 They might give you a little history along with it too.

 

PS: If you want to indulge into the trance of colors, this page is for you :https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Crayola_crayon_colors

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Temple Material

This is what i have been called in the recent past. So this post is a story of why i have come to love this name.

Sanctifying Ourselves
“People should not worry as much about what they do but rather about what they are. If they and their ways are good, then their deeds are radiant. If you are righteous, then what you do will also be righteous. We should not think that holiness is based on what we do but rather on what we are, for it is not our works which sanctify us but we who sanctify our works.” (Meister Eckhart – German Writer and Theologian, 1260-1328) This picture was shot along the Ganges in Varanasi (Benaras), at the junction of Manikarnika Ghat and Scindia Ghat, during the celebrations of Dev Diwali. Everywhere candles are lit as a mark of welcome to God who is believed to descend on earth on that special day. The meaning of this festival is to eradicate our inner demons while meeting the Lord. After leaving king Bali, the Lord rejoined the devas on this day, the devas celebrated His arrival in jubilation and thus Dev Diwali came into being. Though the devas celebrated the Lord’s return, we mortals celebrate Dev Diwali by eradicating our inner demons – the base instincts of ego, anger, greed, lust, … and the resulting manifestation of divinity within.

I love getting dressed traditionally, i have vegetarian food on 4 out of 7 days(for some or the other puja), and i do not feel a shred of unhappiness that i am giving up something like my friends think of it to be. I would not deny the truth that i have a lot of dreams in this life and i continue to ask for support and strength from god to achieve them. But its frustrating when people confuse my faith in god just like a act of selfishness. Its not barter with god, then the priests would have been the richest and the most powerful people of all. But ironically they are not even counted in the elite folks. Life is a journey of ups and downs, we all need courage , we need a voice inside us to tell us that this shall also pass. And for me that voice is my faith in almighty.

I have seen a lot of people who are against the idea of going to the temple , and my father is in the list too. Mostly men are averse to temples. Do they think their machoness is going to go lesser or its a sign of weakness to worship. Or may be they think its uncool. I am not limiting my reasons, people may have many more to not go to temples, i go to look eye to eye of god, and ask him sometimes for justifications for something unfair that happened, thank him for the fortunes, for the miracles which would not happen without his support, and at times to make a shortcut for my happiness. But every time i come back only with a satisfaction that i have shared my emotions with the person who takes care of everything in the world. Its like bcc’ing him on my mail every time.  For me a guy who goes to temple is definitely an aww factor.

We all have different support system and this is mine. And is possibly for the millions of people who go long miles barefoot to show their dedication towards god. Its not that i support the commercialization which is happening to the temples in India, where seeing him is like a dream, where nothing apart from pushing and stampedes happen, and where your prayers are weighed against the money you can offer. If you are doing anything against your own wishes to impress him you are cheating yourself.

This post is not a marketing campaign for God 🙂 Its just a passing emotion which i wanted to pen down, so that years later when i would read my blog post i would know that faith is unshaken no matter what. Also so that we do not challenge each other’s support system.

PS: And yes i am the temple material, and its my faith which makes me strong and will continue to. 🙂

 

 

 

What is your idea of Happiness?

Is happiness a gift? Hell Yes it is. Ask that to a person who is not happy and he will tell you that its possible one thing money cant buy and will never be able to. We all work hard, slog, kill some smaller wishes to fulfill bigger ones only because we all have a perfect idea of happiness. For some of us it is being the best at work, for some it is having lot of money, for some it is travelling, for some it is singing and the list goes on. But i never get happy, i never even reach close to being happy, because my head is clouded with only problems. For instance if you gave me a diamond ring, i possibly would get worried that its so expensive that i might just lose it, i would hardly admire its beauty or feel happy. They say that as adults we usually get very calculative in our head, have too many things to deal with, and children on the other hand are happy without a reason. I am sure you must have seen a baby smile without a reason, well i do not recollect of what i did as a baby, but from when i remember, i was a child with problems. The better i scored at subjects the more worried i got, since the teacher said keep it up and i took it too seriously. My close friends say that even if i have everything, i would be unhappy not because i would be greedy for more, but because being sad has become my second nature.

My life has been driven by rules, values, morals and perfection. I worked equally hard for both my class tests and annual exams. I liked working hard and i took the responsibility of this world on my shoulders. But it did not fetch much, i did not make it to the best institutes or companies. And hence the disappointment with my own self stayed. I also am not a bold person, i did not have the courage to pursue my dreams, i had very less to count on and i did not want to lose it for a fancy of mine. All i ended up doing was compare myself with every other person whose life i thought was perfect. And it depressed me further.

So has all of this regret and negativity driven me to write this blog post? NO.  This post is just another mechanism to be able to live my life better, to forget the rat race, to be Happy. I have to practice to be happy, and that how difficult it has got. I stopped writing, initially i thought because i felt lazy, but actually i was so disappointed in my head with my own self, that i knew no one would look up my post. I forgot the very reason, why i used to write, because i liked it. This post is the first attempt to help myself come out of this self proclaimed depression.

My idea of happiness was doing extremely well at career, taking care of my parents, being an independent woman, having a successful partner, going all around the world and blah blah. Actually the real idea of happiness is nothing. There is no secret ingredient.

The real idea is to be with people who love you, to do things that you like. And that is what i wish to do and will do. I will continue to work hard, but i will stop killing myself over not getting that perfect life which does not exist.

 

 

A year that wasn’t !!! 2015

Last year at this time i had thought 2015, would be the most eventful year of my life, a lot of things would change and blah blah.

But life has not picked up much pace from it was a year ago. Now i am hoping that at least next year will be more eventful. Nevertheless it was definitely a year of great learning, tearful farewells,  and of course small spells of happiness. May be they were big showers, but the skeptical me is hardly happy. 😀

For few of my friends, life is still the same, they are still going to Goa to celebrate new years like always :). But even without introspection, i can tell you that things have changed for me.There was a time when 31st night was a huge thing to celebrate, but as years passed, i grew old , it has now become a night which is dreaded, since i know now more friends are going to be married, more competition will be born, and i have no brownie points to add to my resume.

In spite of all these fears, i will still cherish, memories of a good friend’s marriage, the mistakes that i made and learnt from, and will hope that next year is an amazing journey of happiness, love and imperfections.

 

My mantra for the coming year, is Listen, Sustain and Dream.

I have missed on learning from many people in my life, because the conversations with me were often monologues, i never cared or understood what the other person would want to say. Listening is what i really want to work on, even if i disagree with the other person or i feel they are rumbling nonsense. When we listen, we understand, empathize and respect the other person’s thoughts.

I am someone who gives up very easily, i do not even give it a second thought when i see challenges, because i feel i’m too weak mentally to sustain. But good things do not come easy, no one has an overnight success.I will work harder, without results, i will sustain because even i do not succeed i will learn.

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Quoting Messi “I start early and I stay late, day after day, year after year, it took me 17 years and 114 days to become an overnight success.”

And lastly, do not stop dreaming. It is the most powerful weapon human being possesses. I dream everyday about a million things i want to do. They give me a hope that things one day if not perfect will be beautiful.

On this note, i wish all of you reading this a very happy and joyous new year. May this year be a great one for all of us 🙂

Quoting a friend “We can never have everything but happiness is something which we can always :)”

 

Swachh Bharat starts at Home.Source:Reward me

See if you can spot the cat in picture below: If you did not spot, lets clean up a bit 🙂

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“I am participating in the ‘Ready For Rewards’ activity for Rewardme in association with BlogAdda.” for Theme1

The article https://www.rewardme.in/home/home-decor/article/5-simple-surprising-cleaning-tips-youll-love from rewardme really got me thinking, if cleaning my home or cupboard is really such a big task.

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We are all talking and educating everyone of swachh Bharat but every single day we are overturning all the clothes in cupboard because we do not find that one shirt of kurta we want to wear. We are all scared of even opening our cupboard of clothes or books , worrying it may all fall on us(given that we dumped all of them there).

And trust me it takes preparation of mind to even plan to clean the cupboard. But the rewardme article suggests some really cool tips. Listen to your favourite songs and clean the rack. It really works. Tested and trusted.

If friends stay close by, they could all do a get together at some friends house and target cleaning it. But i am scared this idea might backfire and the place might get dirtier 😛

Another cool tip was keeping a recurring schedule for when you would clean your cupboard. This way you will have it at the back of your mind that you have do this task. Another awesome idea which i had read somewhere over the net is instead of stacking your clothes one over the other arrange in vertical fashion like below. Make proper compartments to divide your clothes. This way your cupboard is disturbed very less.

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But the most important thing is to convince and push yourself to clean up. It is not a herculean task, but it actually requires a lot of thought if he home has to be set properly. Else interior designing would have never been a profession. We are all at least skilled enough to keep things at its right place and not disorganise things.

It can be a very good way to pass time 🙂 if you have had a fight with someone, or you want to kill somebody. It can be the such an engaging task that you can divert all your energies towards it. (I am kidding !! ).

But it can always be nice to reward yourself with an outing or a straight one day of watching some series after finishing the cleaning. This way mumma will be happy and will never nag you as to why you are watching so much TV 🙂

And one final tip could be to take out your clothes the day before. That way you will never be in a hurry and you can sleep those five minutes extra in the morning 🙂 if you are a girl then may be twenty minutes extra 😛

Tune in for a lot of such useful tips and tricks @ https://www.rewardme.in/home/home-decor 

Image courtesy:Google

Can we stop fighting ?

“I am participating in the ‘Ready For Rewards’ activity for Rewardme in association with BlogAdda.” for Theme 2

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When i saw the posts on rewardme about family, life and healthy relationships, i really felt that some very important issues have been discussed and talked about. Be it about work life balance or time management.

One thing which i feel like adding to this genre is about how to avoid the fights and arguments we have with our loved ones. we all get into tiffs with our parents, our spouses, our friends and even outsiders. What is the first thing you feel after a fight? Bitterness, unhappiness, guilt , anger and a series of negative emotions take over you. All in all fighting is something which is not very healthy and should be avoided.

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I fight with my mom when she does not let me go on a trip with friends, I fight with my dad when he says i do not manage my expenses well, i fight with my siblings when they are over protective of me, the common string in all these fights is i get angry  when people do not agree to me. When people cast a doubt in what i do or pick flaws in my work or stop me from doing something which i like, i feel sort of betrayed, i feel the people whom i love most in this world do not understand my likes and dislikes. I am sure most of us have these issues on a daily basis. And when we fight, we get angry and tell harsh things. I regret the moment i say it, but my ego tells me to go on and stops me from saying a sorry. So do we stop doing all what we like and live our life as per others? May be it could avoid these fights but will bottle up inside us and burst like a big volcano someday.

So how do we do what we wish for and still not fight. We should all realise that unless our parents or family thinks it is dangerous Qd7llYtOlfg_vE1vfgGvPwfor us they would never stop us. They have led a different life and their thoughts ought to differ. But shouting and revolting them on the smallest of the issues will only strain our relationship.  If you claim to love someone, you should also know that person very well. You would know by now what makes your mum’s head boil with anger and what makes her jump with happiness. so if you wish to do something which you think will be disliked by her, but you know is not anything wrong or harmful to you, try to find a time when she is happy, slowly try to drop hints to her, explain to her the good things about you doing it, cite examples, try to show the positive side of it, and then tell her how much you want to do it. End of the day, she would let you do it if she senses the confidence in you.

cool-cartoon-6984954I agree at times, situations are very difficult and we have to take a stand but i am sure a lot of the issues do not fall in that category. It is always helpful if you listen to their bit, may be they are making more sense then you are. And at times, we really have to choose our priority. Whether going on a trip is important or keeping your mom happy is? The choice is potentially yours and no friend or enemy can force you to do anything. This applies to you even if you are a parent. If subsiding a little insecurity of yours can make your child a happier and confident person let him/her do whatever they want to. You can always do your part of the research and ensure it is safe.

Sometimes arguing over something can never resolve the issue instead could make it worse. At times, it may take time for your opinion to sync in the other person’s mind.

One thing which i feel balances our lives no matter how busy we are , is mental peace at work and home.Support from family and friends is the most expensive thing of all. Treasure it 🙂 Do not let it drain away for a stubborn thought in your head 🙂

Hope this is good food for thought 🙂

See more such articles at https://www.rewardme.in/family

Images courtesy : Google