When i saw the posts on rewardme about family, life and healthy relationships, i really felt that some very important issues have been discussed and talked about. Be it about work life balance or time management.
One thing which i feel like adding to this genre is about how to avoid the fights and arguments we have with our loved ones. we all get into tiffs with our parents, our spouses, our friends and even outsiders. What is the first thing you feel after a fight? Bitterness, unhappiness, guilt , anger and a series of negative emotions take over you. All in all fighting is something which is not very healthy and should be avoided.
I fight with my mom when she does not let me go on a trip with friends, I fight with my dad when he says i do not manage my expenses well, i fight with my siblings when they are over protective of me, the common string in all these fights is i get angry when people do not agree to me. When people cast a doubt in what i do or pick flaws in my work or stop me from doing something which i like, i feel sort of betrayed, i feel the people whom i love most in this world do not understand my likes and dislikes. I am sure most of us have these issues on a daily basis. And when we fight, we get angry and tell harsh things. I regret the moment i say it, but my ego tells me to go on and stops me from saying a sorry. So do we stop doing all what we like and live our life as per others? May be it could avoid these fights but will bottle up inside us and burst like a big volcano someday.
So how do we do what we wish for and still not fight. We should all realise that unless our parents or family thinks it is dangerous for us they would never stop us. They have led a different life and their thoughts ought to differ. But shouting and revolting them on the smallest of the issues will only strain our relationship. If you claim to love someone, you should also know that person very well. You would know by now what makes your mum’s head boil with anger and what makes her jump with happiness. so if you wish to do something which you think will be disliked by her, but you know is not anything wrong or harmful to you, try to find a time when she is happy, slowly try to drop hints to her, explain to her the good things about you doing it, cite examples, try to show the positive side of it, and then tell her how much you want to do it. End of the day, she would let you do it if she senses the confidence in you.
I agree at times, situations are very difficult and we have to take a stand but i am sure a lot of the issues do not fall in that category. It is always helpful if you listen to their bit, may be they are making more sense then you are. And at times, we really have to choose our priority. Whether going on a trip is important or keeping your mom happy is? The choice is potentially yours and no friend or enemy can force you to do anything. This applies to you even if you are a parent. If subsiding a little insecurity of yours can make your child a happier and confident person let him/her do whatever they want to. You can always do your part of the research and ensure it is safe.
Sometimes arguing over something can never resolve the issue instead could make it worse. At times, it may take time for your opinion to sync in the other person’s mind.
One thing which i feel balances our lives no matter how busy we are , is mental peace at work and home.Support from family and friends is the most expensive thing of all. Treasure it 🙂 Do not let it drain away for a stubborn thought in your head 🙂
Hope this is good food for thought 🙂
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