You are too good Fatso :)

I am writing about #MyRoleModel as a part of the activity by Gillette India in association with BlogAdda.com.

When i first met him, he came across to me as the most serious person i had ever seen. He seemed rude, arrogant and proud. And today i know him as the king of bad jokes. The person i am writing about today, is one person who has inspired me to break free from extreme emotions of anger, insecurity, jealousy and every other emotion which makes me a monster.

He never was interested in being friends with me, since he had already known of the side effects of being my friend :P. But i spoke so much to him, that he could not avoid me. He put up with my silly fights, my stupid insecurities and most importantly me.

I met him at work and today he much more than a colleague to me. He is one of the most special friends to me. I have kept hearing all my life, that its good to share your sorrows, to open up, but after meeting him, a lot of definitions in my life has changed. Back then anyone i found, i poured all my secrets onto that person but i am glad that i found him earlier which  saved a lot of people from listening to my sob stories. I now know that telling everyone about your sorrows is not going to fetch you anything apart from more sorrow. Express it to people who will be able to empathize with you and not sympathize with you. He is a more of an introvert and let me tell you, an introvert is not a person who does not interact much but is a person who interacts with only people he likes. I take it a achievement in my life that i am one of his good friends 😀 and though he has not really told me a lot of secrets :(, he knows if someday he needs me i will be there.

People who have read my blog posts will know that emotionally i am a very weak person, i can breakdown anytime. But now i have learnt to make peace with things which upset me, i have learnt to build a world around me and i am happy. I kept on waiting for people to come and make me happy, but when i looked at his life, i felt he is hardly unhappy and the sole reason for it, he was very happy with his own self.

He is brilliant, sincere and amazingly good at work. From him i have learnt how important it is, to deliver perfect results and not let anyone point out your faults.If there was a trip planned and he was a part of it, i would be in, since i was least worried of anything, he would take take care of everything and i knew it. He is so humble in spite of all the goodness filled in him.

Its not that  i do not feel bad at his reactions at times, but its not that im perfect either. I know now that everyone has a different way to show their care and it always does not have to be loud.

PS: Tomu i met you in one of the most toughest phases in my life, and when i was at the edge, you pulled me up and saved me from sinking. I know you will be a big man someday, and the unfortunate part of being work friends is that you end up losing touch even faster, but i know whenever we meet in life i will  punch equally hard like now if you tease me. 😛 😛 😛

My Queen..(Movie Review)

Queen came like a fresh breeze and was a complete entertainer. Kangana has proved all of them who say she can only do phsycho roles wrong. You were brilliant kangana, my queen.

It was very aptly released on the occasion of women’s day. Rahul gandhi was right, we are working towards women empowerment. 😛 Jokes apart, the movie is very nicely shot, very simple storyline, and good cast. This movie brings out a lot of emotions ; happiness, sorrow, anger and madness. Rani’s innocence is also well blended in the whole movie. 🙂

Rani’s(Kangana) life overturns when her fiancee very casually dumps her a day before their wedding, simply because he feels their statuses does not match anymore. The same guy who ran circles around her, felt she did not match up to him. Rani felt her life was doomed, but Paris saved her. 🙂 She sets out on her honeymoon alone :). Though it is very difficult to believe that Rani from Rajouri can conquer Paris but. isn’t reel life all about giving way to our wildest imaginations. Just to think if really the world was safe enough that Rani from a small town could set out to a completely foreign country.

Rani is as pure as a dew drop and her honest intentions, to see Paris and Amsterdam, change her life, make her realize who she really is and who she really can be. Lisa Hayden, the dusky beauty , the hot Veejaay 😛  befirends rani and becomes her first confidant in her journey. Remarkable performance by Lisa. Taka deserves a special mention too.

Music is very refreshing. They have songs of very different flavor, no hip hop but very soothing. I got a deja vous feeling, in the second part of the movie, felt it was a bit like english vinglish, may be because Amit trivedi has composed music for both, but i am definitely not saying that they are similar movies. The heroin single handed has taken charge of the movie.

A worth watch. The last scene was my favorite. The movie tells us that when all doors are closed, you are just about to open the best one. It gives a new hope, that no matter what,  life goes on and very famously quoted,

“what does not kill you only makes you stronger”.

PS. Paris and Amstredam, you are a pleasure to eyes. Please watch the movie, if you are a Paris fan like me:P.

Misunderstood Relationships..When Love is at War X-)

Love.. Love.. Love Love Love… Hate is a strong word, but i really really don’t like you..By Plain White Ts. This song only tells me that after a break up, two people who were so madly in love start loathing each other and cannot stand each other.

Today my blog post goes out to all broken hearts, people who regret their past relationship, have strained relationships with their Xs and also the victims of one sided love stories.

Almost every girl or guy i know, is in a relationship or is out of a relationship or is going through a break up or is sulking at the fact that the person they like do not like them. Another new breed which i see now is the set of people who are unhappy because they cant go out with a person they like lest they would lose their friendship.

This new kind of relationship is  between two best friends who find lot of solace and happiness in each other. But its not so easy since the two best friends belong to opposite genders and their closeness cannot be perceived as best friends by their friends but as that of a girl friend and boy friend.  This viewpoint of others sometimes blurs our vision and at times overpowers it, and we are unsure of what we feel for our friend.

Also one person may feel that when the other person is so special what is wrong in being in a relationship, since there is no clear distinction or boundaries of how much you should like a person. But when the other person feels otherwise things get complicated. Its not that the other one cares less or has less liking but thinks that the relationship cannot materialize in the long run.

Sometimes its best to be friends if  you really care for the other person, and are unsure of the future, since two people cannot be friends  if they break off their affair. A break up mostly is because one person cannot commit or falls for somebody else. So as you can see, the other party is in more pain and has suffered a major heartbreak.

Now the two people who were so cute together and could fight the world for each other suddenly start fighting a cold war between them. But the biggest pain most of the times is that, the one person who used to be your best friend, with whom you had no formalities, suddenly gets so far that you can’t even talk to each other. This disappoints me the most that you end up losing your favorite friend. The person who breaks up cannot talk,since they have to stick to the stand and the other person is so hurt and feels their ego is hurt as he/she is dumped.

Can’t two people behave with more maturity and instead of being enemies be two people who would stay special for the other person and be  good friends always.  But i am sure i would not have too many supporters for this thought of mine, so i am not trying to justify my stand.

They say Everything is fair in love and war, but now what i see is Love itself is the New War X-).

All i wish to tell people is if you like the other person,  be good to them, don’t predict the future too much and do not let the complications crop in.  Face rejection with more gracefully, after all saying no to your best friend is not a very cool thing to do. It is equally painful. Not being able to convert the relationship as per your wish should not be like an ego hurt, but rather one should learn to respect another individual’s decision.  Life is too short to hate  anyone, Love is a strong word but we can surely like people around us. 🙂

One day you would think back in your life and feel, I have what i need which may not always be what i wanted.

Love Vs EGO… who wins??

Human beings possess a serious problem. They crave for attention, no matter how much some of us would deny, deep down we all are a bit of wannabes. Each one of us are desperately trying to impress someone; it could be your dad, your boss, your crush, your girlfriend or your teacher. We all want to emerge as heroes in front of them.

Since I can write best for people of my age, we youngsters are always trying to be our best in front of our crushes or people with whom we see a opportunity 😉 of a relationship of love. So it’s not very easy to become that hero, whoever has tried will know. We really go beyond us at times. Just for an example, you might be lethargically sitting on your sofa, when your dad tells you to drop a cheque in the drop box at a nearby bank, and your immediate response on that  will be. “daddy its weekend, my only holiday, please don’t make me work today at least”, instead if the girl you are dreaming off, or the guy who has swept you away, gives you a call and tells you if you would be free to accompany him/her to a bank which is miles away from your place, what would your response be? no prizes for guessing, it would be a YES. A couple of people I know will pounce on me and say, I am being a hypocrite and it’s not like that. They would not give up on their sleep for a outing which may or may not be a date. But I speak for most of them; some exceptions are always there :). So now you see how much we have given up just to make someone happy. 😉 😉

Then you also start caring, you will be concerned, but like a human being craves for attention, they also possess a serious problem. They CANNOT HANDLE ATTENTION. A lot of times the male kind is blamed to do it more, but I strongly feel that not being able to handle attention is not a gender based problem. We feel we need someone who cares for us, but mostly we end up feeling suffocated and caged when we are being cared and pampered for too much, and quite a few times it’s because we don’t get the attention from the right person.

So the cycle is:  you give attention-> the other person feels you are getting too pushy and why do they need to care for when you already care so much -> you feel bad, not cared for like a doormat -> and then our second hero Mr. EGO steps in -> We feel horrible that we are being taken for granted and there are enough people who care for us, we don’t need anyone else to do that.

And then the actual fight starts, between Love and Ego, because love will always tell you that if you have an ego issue with the person you like then you are mistaken about the liking, because its solely your problem, you gave them value, then you should have continued to do so without  building your string of expectations, but then Ego also presents its own valid set of arguments you can’t afford to fore go, he would say, you care and other person never caring will land you up in a ditch which you have dug for yourself.  So why not give them a chance to give you value and you behave like you do not care. But the other person who is totally unaware of your masterminded plans here, will treat you the same way, unless they realize they are not getting the same amount of importance as they always used to from you. And then may be, could be,  they start making an effort and miss your presence in their life and start caring for you, but then again you will suffer from not able to handle attention syndrome and eventually they will from ego hurt. So it’s all a vicious circle which will continue forever.

Poor love is sometimes bashed up down the road by ego and his friends like attitude, rationale, logic and practicality.  But sometimes love needs that bashing, because some of us, just are so plain and blindly stupid, that we fail to see how much of our self respect is being hurt caring for someone who is totally indifferent about it. But also they say, only light can drive out darkness and love can drive out hate, if someone is being sweet in his/her own ways may be not exactly like you wanted then, one should just stop measuring them against their standards of expectations they have fulfilled.  The war between your heart(love) and mind(ego) can be simply waved off if only you could measure up to each other. The whole point is, if after a while of caring for someone you can clearly make out that the other person is worth it or not. If not its better to stay away, because self hurt is no justice to any form of love 🙂

Even when I was writing this post, I realized how stupid we get in life; yet again I come around and realize that for me my ego can never overpower my love.

PS: All the examples listed in this post are completely fictional 🙂 and any resemblance to my life or any other character is purely intended and not coincidental 😛 The whole incident above does not necessary apply to love between a couple but also between friends, family and colleagues. I think it even applies between you and your pet, if no matter how hard you try your dog is not willing to give you a handshake, its best to pat him on his back and move on 🙂

Images Courtesy: Google and my sharp sense of search 😉